This is going to be an LJ post, and I’m looking for responses mainly from the girls, but guys can add their two cents. I imagine that Katie and the other person that I quote will not have a problem with me posting their words, and if you do, contact me personally and I’ll remove them.

Yesterday I told a girl how I really felt about her for the first time in 3 years now. I received the response I expected, “only three months left.” For the most part I agree with that logic, and questioned whether I should say anything to her for that reason. I decided it was better to tell her and chance a different response. Here is where the brain twister comes in. Part of her response was “we’re friends, it would be odd.” Though I have a similar underlying feeling about friends not being able to go out, and I’ve seen and heard other people say that too, I don’t understand it. To me a friend is someone I enjoy being around, have similar values, understanding of differing opinions, and a person that I can have amazing conversations with. Shouldn’t a relationship include all that anyways, why does it seem odd for two friends to start going out then? Katie for one thinks that being friends is an important part of a relationship. Obviously every girl has a different opinion on this depending on what they are looking for in a relationship, but I’d like to understand the reasoning for the “can’t be friends first” side.

In reference to the fact that it has taken 3 years to actually say something to a girl again Katie’s counter argument is, “You’re amazing, it shouldn’t be this hard.” To some who know, and others who don’t that part of the problem is a fear of loosing the friendship I have with the person, and a fear of getting hurt the same way as twice in the past in relationships. Using Katie’s opinion as a hypothesis, then “I’m amazing and this should be easy.” If that were true, I would imagine having to beat girls off with a stick, but since that doesn’t happen I must be hiding my amazingness from all girls except Katie. It that’s true, I don’t know what I do differently other then tell Katie more about my personal life. I don’t know what characteristics Katie chooses to classify me as amazing, can you share Katie? And to the other girls, is it possible for a guy to be too amazing? Do girls not like that?
On the other hand Katie could have it all wrong, and “I’m not amazing and it is this hard.” Maybe my problem is that I don’t need to rely on a girl to do everything around the house for me: I cook, bake, clean, sew, do laundry and most anything else that needs to be done around the house, and girls dislike the feeling of a self-sufficient guy. If we lived in the 1950’s I would understand that sort of thinking based on societal roles of men and women, but it makes no sense now a days. Women are in the work place, they go to school, and not all of them learn the house wife tasks from their mothers. So why is a self-sufficient guy a problem?
Realistically I think I must be somewhere between “not amazing” and Katie’s “amazing” which sounds to much like a self-esteem booster, though I appreciate the attempt, it wasn’t necessary except to get me to write this blog.

Now for your turn, I would like to hear feedback of any sort. Give us clueless guys a clue to what girls are looking for, and what I’m doing wrong. Be as critical of me in your comments as you want. The worse the better, Ginnie worked wonders on me sophomore year, I think it’s time for round two as a sophomore in college. I want to hear from my regular readers, and pass it on to your female friends and have them answer too. Mom and Grandma feel free to join in. Maybe you can share some wisdom from experience with us youngins.